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‘They offer a game plan which, pickup artists claim, teaches men to quickly establish trust with a woman in order to get her into bed.‘These scripts or pre-tested routines mean men are missing out on truly listening in for valuable social clues meaning they will fail to build a natural connection, or genuine attraction.By misselling this idea, the PUA community is morally, ethically, and scientifically bankrupt.’ One of the main tenets of pickup artistry is that men and women approach romance differently.
‘NLP is not supported by the British Psychological Society and in 2012 clinical psychologist Stephen Briers concluded its “evidence base is virtually non-existent.” ‘Ultimately, you can’t fool someone into a relationship or a date – this is an unhealthy and bad mindset that can be damaging for both individuals.There are far fewer gender differences in attraction and relationship formation that we might like to believe.’ He believes that – although many of the men who follow PUA don’t realise it, ‘approaching the art of love as a war to be won means they are ultimately exerting a misogynistic desire to control women’s behaviour.’ Preach.If you’ve ever watched a PUA online, you’ll notice their methods are anything but natural.Swami explains: ‘He stated women are like cats because they do not take orders, like shiny new things, can be tempted to chase you, and “rub against you and purr when they like you”.
‘These metaphors are common in the pickup artist world where men are urged to ‘train’ women by rewarding positive and punishing negative behaviour.’ Now, although cats are great, and get to chill out and sleep all day, it’s quite clear that women aren’t pets that can be trained.
Kino escalation, for example, involves gradually increasing how much you’re touching a woman, pretending to know how to ‘palm read’ to touch her hand, for instance, and going from there.