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Similarly, I’ll never forget my first time on the “Nancy Grace” show; after watching the recorded show later, it appeared as if someone had been holding a gun to my head as I spoke.
(Yikes, because there was no such gun.) I’ve come a long way since those days largely because I started videotaping myself so that I could see how I come across to others when I’m talking.
Let me share a couple of techniques that will make you feel less anxious when you really want to sit back and enjoy your date. I’ll share a trick that I have used in my career which has helped tremendously.
As a psychologist who is frequently a guest expert on television, I had to learn to become comfortable on camera. My first appearance was years ago on “Good Morning America,” and I essentially froze on camera.
Heck, the first date is awkward for everyone, right?
On a first date, wear something that can act as a conversation-starter for the two of you.
First of all, let’s talk about risk taking and dating.
The trick, however, is to not overthink things when you meet someone.
Wearing a shirt or hat with your college name, carrying an eclectic handbag, wearing an interesting watch or bracelet, or pulling out your cell phone with a custom/interesting case are all ways to distract the focus from you.
At the end of the day, this is the main secret to successful dating, especially for shy men and women: distract yourself from the thoughts in your head and come out, come out, come out to play. Being shy basically means that you have a lot of personality inside you, but you feel uncomfortable releasing it to people you don’t really know.
If you find that you are unable to complete any of the tasks below, or if you become very distressed when attempting to complete these tasks, have panic attacks, or severe anxiety, I recommend that you work with a psychotherapist when using the tips.
Counseling can offer you much needed support as you go through the dating process and can also, in some cases help you speed up the process of meeting new people.
First, wear a distracting clothing item or accessory.